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There are a lot of adult dating sites that don't have a lot of users, or use sneaky marketing tactics like the bait and switch you're referring to.
They may be sold to a different owner who uses different standards or may engage in some of those shady practices to boost membership and use. My first recommendation would be to try Lavalife's Intimate Encounters section; you sign up with them and then decide which of the three sections you want to be a part of (Dating, Relationships or Intimate Encounters).
You can use different handles in each section under the same account too, so no one will be any wiser if you want to advertise for one thing in one place without ruining your chances for something more should it come up.
And when I clicked on a picture, the city and/or state changed to someplace nearby... There has to be a legitimate adult dating site out there. " Welcome, Stephen, and thanks to my colleague, sexuality expert Cory Silverberg, for sending you my way.
To answer your question: it depends on what you mean by legitimate.