Invalidating my feelings
Problem is that his 'reasoning' applies to him too.
While you are 'choosing' to feel upset, he is making the very real choice of ignoring and dismissing it.
However, when I did something that upset them, I was made to feel like a horrible person.
He needs a therapist, and you should kick his ass to the curb.Clearly these books aren’t improving him as a person like at all, they’re just giving him a vocabulary that’s helping him manipulate you.tl;dr He never takes your feelings or problems seriously and you’re on reddit asking if you’re somehow responsible for that too. Turns out he was just a selfish jerk I'll be honest with you - dump him.Your SO thinks he has the perfect solution to every argument.This is an amazing way to deflect any sort of responsibility or accountability for the foreseeable future.When you do something that upsets him does he also just “choose to be happy”?