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You can view it as that or you can view it as an invitation to man up.
When she is confused, she wants you -the man- to man up and lead her away from this chaos.
If you're going to tell me what an ass i am for doing this, i already know that so you don't need to post. On the one hand, when I withdraw, she seems to be jealous and sad and chases me. There's millions of women you could bang/date, but you're focused on this one, who won't even leave her husband for you. I had a friend who went through the same exact scenario you're going through. Wound up in prison on something unrelated and more of a freak incident. You have oneitis and you think it is excusable because you have oneitis for a married woman. People fall in love when the presence of the other is taken away and they building up a magical reality around their own in order to include that person.
So part of me wants to say "yeah, see ya when you finally sort your deal out...hasta manana". Such a reality is a sum of the past and the good times spent together along with their lack of abundance mentality which clouds their judgment.
She wants you to do this, she wants that feeling of being desired unlike her husbands (likely) waning emotions for her.
Your decision making ability and your emotional maturity will be the deciding factors in how your relationship with this woman turns out to be.
(don't be silly, she definitely is not worth the risk- married, potentially over 30, emotional baggage etc.) You just want some spice in your love life, maybe some excitement and a cool story to tell. I have fucked married women, girls with boyfriends and ex girlfriends over again. They want to feel wanted when the facebook likes fade, when their husbands aren't home, when they are having a dry patch. I wish you the best but you already know what to do.Stop living in the past and caressing your emotions which you have ever-so-carefully groomed towards this woman. Look at your life right now that she is married and not with you. She is another woman which you have trapped yourself into wanting based off your previous interactions and the investment.If you bought a car and it was depreciating by the week, would you sit around and hope it magically shoots up in value or would you count your losses and move on?But i'll bite, you're trying to steal a girl away from a man and the girl is willing to do it.Her character is in full color, what makes you think she won't up and leave you when Gmanifesto rolls on through?