Dating for orthodox jews merried dating
The breakup had been painful, but Rivka was looking to get back on the dating circuit.
“I don’t think I ever would have seen myself going through an online forum to date,” said the recent Ivy League graduate living on the Upper West Side, citing a background in mixed-gender educational and social settings.
Somewhere in between lies OU-JLIConnections, and the now-happily dating Rivka.
Leah Gottfried, creator of “Soon By You,” a witty web series about Orthodox dating, sees the range of options available to Orthodox daters as a net positive.
The day before she deleted it, though, she matched with a guy — the guy who is now her boyfriend.
They never actually connected through the app, but soon went on a date set up through JLIConnections.
Weinberg advocates for the value of having an “ombudsman” in the dating-for-marriage process.
In contrast to what she characterizes as “environment of wandering,” created by apps in which daters keep seeking a more perfect person in an endless sea of possibilities and never allow a relationship to develop, a shadchan helps encourage communication and compromise to help a couple build a rapport.
“If I want an ice cream from the store, do I hire a middleman to introduce me to the ice cream? I will go to the store and pick out my own brand of ice cream with my favorite flavor at the right price. If you want action, then you’re best off doing it yourself.” The group has not yet led to any matches, but has over 90 members.
Though different options work well for different people, JSwipe, he said, has resulted in “hundreds of people empowered to find love on their own, swiping in their community or worldwide,” on a scale that no individual matchmaker can parallel.
At a time when navigating the dating scene seems more fraught than ever, those committed to the matchmaking system believe a middleman (or woman) can be essential.
(“Tell a story” with your dating profile with photos that reveal a range of interests, not “just five photos of your face,” he urges.) So far, Avitan says, 40 young eligibles have sought his services, and he’s a frequent speaker at Jewish singles events around the city. The 64-year-old, Pittsburgh-based shadchan has been a matchmaker for Jews of all stripes for most of her adult life and was involved in the founding of Saw You At Sinai.
Because of the impersonality of dating apps, she says, her business is booming.